Grace's Doctrinal Position

American participants in the conversation partner program are asked to agree to this doctrinal statement ...

What do I do with my new international friend?

"Love your neighbor as yourself," first and foremost. Treat them like you would any other friend. Here are some suggestions ...

• Take them out to get ice cream, coffee, a glass of tea, or a meal
• Offer to meet them on campus if they are a student (Evans Library has tables outside and a coffee shop right by the main entrance. Most internationals know where this is and its good neutral territory for a first meeting.)
• Find out if they have a car. Many internationals do not, so you may need to pick them up if you go somewhere off campus. (Thank God if they don't have a car! Now you can offer to take them to the grocery store with you when you go. Offering to take them places is a great way to love them.)
• Be sensitive to cultural differences. You don't have to change your behavior: they are participating to learn your language and cultural differences. But be extra polite and pay attention. Many cultures perceive Americans as loud, talkative, very open about personal matters, and prone to smile and laugh for no good reason. That's all probably true, but that tells us that, to our eyes, many internationals will seem quiet, shy, guarded with their personal life, and serious. Give them time to warm to you and expect initially to talk about issues unrelated to basic beliefs, their families, politics, and religion.
• Ask them about their country and show a real interest. Remember what they say so you can bring it up again later.
• Ask them to teach you a few words in their language. At least learn to say "hello" so you can use it next time you meet. Even if your pronunciation is terrible, they'll be impressed you cared enough to try.
• Call them or email them whenever you are doing anything where they might reasonably tag along … doing laundry, going to the store, heading out to study, picking up your kids from school (if you have kids, of course), going to the book store or library, etc. Live your life as usual, but invite them to live it with you.
• Find them on facebook.com if you have an account. Many internationals use facebook very regularly, and I've often found it often a more reliable way to contact them than with phone or email.
• Some internationals will speak English better than others. Be very patient. Ask them to repeat their words slowly and have them write the word down if you still can't make it out. Speak slowly and clearly yourself and avoid jargon. Be ready to rephrase your statements and use synonyms if they look confused.
• Have a pen and paper handy when you talk with them so you can write down words that are new to them.
• Bring a map and show them where you are from and where you have traveled. Ask them to do the same.
• Bring pictures of your family, friends, activities, pets, etc. as conversation starters.
• "Do not be anxious about anything (don't worry), but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7.
  
• Continually lift your relationship with your partner up to God, follow the Spirit's leading, and leave the results to your Father in Heaven.